


So Obvious That Even A Child Can See It

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Stellar Flash Fiction [14]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: AU, Beginnings, Bickering, Cave-In, Hallucinations, Hand Jobs, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Hand jobs, Mutual Masturbation, Star Trek Humor, Trapped McCoy, Trapped Spock, beginning relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 14:46:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: McCoy and Spock are trapped in a cave-in, then led to safety by a girl whose grandfather has a unique way of saving them.  Is it a miracle, a hallucination, or wishful thinking?





	So Obvious That Even A Child Can See It

“I do believe that we are trapped, Doctor.”

“Well, that isn’t exactly a newsflash to me, Vulcan! I kinda got the general idea when the passageway in front of us became a wall!”

“The only reason why we lagged behind Jim and the others is that you wished to remove something from your boot. You grabbed my shoulder for balance, then the cave-in occurred.”

“You’re a damn tape recorder with legs! Didn’t miss anything that happened, did you?!”

“I did not quote your colorful language in regards to our present predicament.”

“Present predicament?! This isn’t a predicament! It’s our grave!”

“Giving into pessimism will not help our situation, either.”

“You sure as hell have a dry sense of humor!” McCoy grumbled

“You have previously stated that I have no discernible sense of humor.”

“Well, you seem to have come up a notch, then, haven’t you?!”

“Doctor, did you suffer a hearing loss?”

“No! Why?!”

“Why are you yelling at me? I am standing barely two feet away. You do not need to raise your voice for my benefit.”

“Maybe I'm venting so I won’t start screaming.”

“Why would you start screaming?”

“Spock. We’re trapped. It will take Jim hours to get to us. All he might find is corpses.”

“Once again, you are being pessimistic.”

"I am being realistic!” 

Spock put a cautionary hand on McCoy’s arm. “Doctor. Look.”

Something in Spock's voice and face made McCoy obey without questioning. He turned and jerked. A teenage girl was standing not ten feet away from them. A gauzy white dress floated gently around her legs from some breeze swirling through the room where they were trapped.

The girl lifted her hand and beckoned them to follow her.

“Might as well,” McCoy muttered. “We can’t leave the way we came in.”

McCoy and Spock followed their silent guide through winding tunnels until they stepped into a room bright with light reflected from huge crystals.

“I’ll be damn, Spock. Look at that. Those are diamonds. Two of those would make us millionaires. Four, and we could buy the universe.”

“There is not much market for them in here, Doctor.”

“Damn realist!” McCoy muttered.

The girl led them to an old man sitting in a large wooden chair. “I have brought them, Grandfather.”

“Good, child. You may leave.”

“Wait. Sir. Who is that girl? Shouldn’t she be in school?” It was a stupid question to ask on this desolate planet, but McCoy wanted some normalcy.

The old man looked at them. “You are Earthlings?”

“I am. He’s half one,” McCoy indicated Spock. “The good half.”

Spock glared. “I am an amazing hybrid.”

“You’re amazing, alright,” McCoy jeered.

“Do you hate each other?” the old man asked.

“Us? Nah. He’s just hardheaded sometimes.”

“He is hardheaded most of the time,” Spock slipped in.

“Hey! I’m the one with the smart lip around here!”

“I did not like your remark about my lineage.”

“Well, roast my toenails for popcorn!”

The old man smiled. “I understand now. You two are mated. To each other.”

McCoy and Spock both looked stunned.

“No, no, no, no! Sorry to give you that impression, sir. But Spock and I are not mated to each other.”

“But it's so obvious. Even a child can see it. My granddaughter could. That is why she went after you. She said that lovers such as you two should be rescued.”

McCoy blushed a deep red, and Spock blushed a darker green.

“Oh, no, no, no! Not lovers! Not us!” McCoy explained.

“But you are more interested in winning an argument than in learning how you can be rescued. Your physical relationship is obviously uppermost in your thoughts, even now.”

“But that’s not possible! We’ve never--”

“Maybe not. But that is what you wish to be doing now.”

“What?!”

“Gentlemen. Look down at yourselves, and then tell me that you are not interested in sexual congress between you.”

McCoy looked down at himself. Nothing wrong with the old gentleman’s eyesight. Apparently, he could still spot an excited penis straining at clothing at his age. McCoy didn’t even glance at Spock. If the old man was right about one of them, chances were he was right about both of them.

“That is why I dismissed my granddaughter. She is young and believes in the magic of love. I do not wish her to know of the vulgarity of rutting that is the reality of physical love.”

“It has its charms, sir. And its uses.”

“How well I know. How do you think that I got a granddaughter?”

“But you’re wrong about us. There’s no romance between him and me.”

“It must be subconscious, then. Now, I want you to take care of your mutual physical problem, and you may find that your other problems have been solved, including your constant arguing.”

“I don’t see how screwing each other is going to get us out of this cave.”

“Earthling! Just do it!” He stomped away in exasperation.

“Well, how do we proceed from here?”

“I do not know. This sort of thing was never covered at the V.S.A. At least, I never saw it in the curriculum.”

“Spock! Stop arguing! Get over here and jerk me off!”

“I beg your pardon?”

“We could do ourselves, but the guy said that we had to take care of our mutual problem. That doesn’t sound solitary to me.”

“I am not an expert on these things, but I believe that it will not take a great deal of pressure for you to achieve--”

“Will you just grab me and start pumping?! Aargh!”

“I told you that it would not take much for you. However, I will require more-- Aargh!”

“Did the earth just move for you, too, or was that another explosion?" McCoy glanced around and frowned. "And how did we get back here with my hand on your shoulder?”

“Guys! We got to you as fast as we could--”

Dead silence.

“Whatja doing, guys?” Kirk wanted to know.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines.


End file.
